Me and DD are…
30 Jan 2009 Leave a Comment
in Funny, Kai, New and Improved, excitement, thanks
freaks, absolute, complete, freaks. Hahaha. He just bought a new Netbook and wanted to set-up his MSN so we could use our webcams when I’m back at school. Well first it wouldn’t work.. at all. We fucked around for probably about an hour before I suggested that his MSN might be an out of date version and we should try upgrading it. Well that worked. So, as our test for the webcam, we sent each other an invite and, surprise! it worked. The funny part of this stiuation is that we were sitting on the same couch, not even 2 feet away from each other. LOL. He was sticking his hand in my face and I was faux picking his nose…. it was great.
Another funny thing happened when he was trying to get this thing to connect to the internet. Well at first it wasn’t working and he couldn’t figure out why. Then, all of a sudden, he says “It’s because the screw is loose!” I was like, “Dad, those are the most truthful words I’ve ever heard you say” We always joke around that he has a screw loose and he just confessed to it! I laughed for a good 10 minutes, with giggles proceeding that for about another hour 
I love being home, it’s so good for my emotional health. I mean, I laughed in the car ride here, and I’ve pretty much been laughing since I walked through the door. Yesterday’s break down is far behind me and I feel alright again. I love coming back home to my family, I miss them a lot when I’m gone at school. I have lived with them for 19 years now and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Although we have gone through a lot of rough patches, every step has brought me closer to them, and I am better for it. I am such a better person for having my family close, guiding me, and letting me make my own mistakes. I can’t believe how blessed I am for getting them. 
As you can tell, I’m kind of in a mushy mood
Ok, now that I have my family, I am just waiting for tomorrow when I can hang with the boyfriend. I have missed Kai terribly and I can’t wait to be stuck in a hug with him for longer than a normal hug should last, I can’t wait for that first “I’m actually back” kiss, and that first smile I see on his face. I want to hold his hand and snuggle for hours, laugh and watch movies and just be absolutely content and crazy. *sigh* It’s good to be home
Thats it for now,
Later days!
I hate..
30 Jan 2009 2 Comments
in Frustrations, New and Improved, Stupidity, over life, ow pain, panic, sick, sleeep
crying. With a passion. Tonight, for some unknown reason to me, I fell into a funk. And when I say funk, I mean more of a drop-kick down a flight of stairs into a deep dark hole of despair. All of a sudden I was moody, and really homesick, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted someone to hold me. So after getting a beautiful email from Kai, telling me how much he loves me and misses me, I broke down. I think I knew this was coming to some extent but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I hate crying soo much, with the tears and runny, red nose (which then becomes a plugged nose that I can’t breathe out of for the next 4 hours) and blotchy skin… I hate it. I have never been a crier, ok I lied… maybe when I was younger I might have cried once or twice to get my way, but I have never really been an emotional crier. I would rather stomp around and slam things, or go for a nice long walk, or write for hours on end, than cry.
Have I mentioned I hate it?
*sigh* … I think the worst is over now. I am so happy that I found writing all those years ago, that I found it helped soothe my soul and took my frustrations away. I am always happy after I have written something, even if it’s something small. Writing is basically therapy for me. I love it.
Crap. Did I forget to mention that after a crying binge I get a monster sob-headache? No? Well it’s now pounding on the door in my head asking for an invite in, I will try and let Mr. Tylenol say no and hope Mr. Sob-Headache goes away… I doubt he will. I’m betting he beats down the door and starts hammering away for the next few hours. *peaceful sigh* Mr. Sleep, it seems, has decided to join the party and now I feel like I’m about to pass out. Good.
Perfect… Sleep tight all! Don’t let the bed bugs bite!
Later days!
P.S. I love Kai with all my heart… baby you mean the world to me! Thanks for cheering me up. See ya on Saturday!
This is my 100th…
29 Jan 2009 Leave a Comment
in Boredom, Funny, Kai, countdowns, excitement
post on this blog. I didn’t know that I would ever get this hooked to writing my life out on the internet. I never thought that I would actually find this such a stress reliever for myself, or that I would find such great friends through it.
Ok… that was my piece on that. Now on to something else…
I’m going home tomorrow!! I’m so happy, and Kai is mega excited. Haha. He can’t stop talking about it, he’s been counting down the days since I told him. I’m so happy that I get to see my family tomorrow. MM will be able to make sure that I’m ok for herself And I get to hang with my baby.
Ok.. sorry this isn’t a long post but I’m being distracted by my show Supernatural….
Must watch…
Later days!
I feel so proud of myself…
29 Jan 2009 3 Comments
because I actually made it to a class this week! I am in my classroom right now, waiting for it to begin and I feel so happy that I forced myself, after telling myself to forget taking a shower and to sleep an extra hour, to walk out of my room, take the elevator, and walk across the scary walkway to my room. I’m so happy that I m actually going to classes this week because I thought I would miss them all.
Yesterday was not a good day. I was really in pain and could barely walk, but having MM call me twice, and for her to keep telling me that she could drive up here… no problem, I felt better. I told her to stay home, there’s no point in coming up here if I’m just going home tomorrow anyways. Really. Because if she was here I would definitely miss classes and I wouldn’t be feeling so proud of myself right now. But it’s always nice to have MM near me when I feel like crap, I love having her here, stroking my hair and singing to me. *sigh* But I can get that tomorrow. I know she is super worried about me right now, but there is just nothing she can do right now.
I think she was pushing for me to go to the hospital last night, she even transferred some money over so I would have cab fare. I love my Mommy!
Anyways, last night I got really sick. And I mean I felt like I was going to throw up for 4 hours. I eventually figured part of that out: I had barely eaten all day. When I was going downstairs for a smoke I took a juice box with me and while I was drinking it *gasp* I started to feel better! As the sugar was hitting me I felt a lot less nauseous and dizzy. So what did I do when I came back upstairs? I ordered Swiss Chalet again I was definitely not in the mood to cook anything last night so I figured ordering in would be the best thing to do. After about 20 minutes, my food was here. I ordered the same thing as last time (chicken wrap with poutine… the reason for the poutine is that for delivery your order has to be $10.99 before tax, so I add the poutine on.) and very slowly, I ate the poutine first. I was so full after eating just that, but I felt soo much better for it.
Later on, I got hungry again (good sign!) so I ate half of my wrap. The other half is still sitting upstairs waiting for me to eat it for lunch. So last night turned out for the better. I felt less nauseous, my side started hurting a little less, and I actually got almost 6.5 hours of sleep! So the day did end up taking a better turn, which I was thankful about.
Today my side is still killing me, but I’ve taken my meds ad I hope they start working soon, I really don’t want to miss anymore classes this week. I do, actually, like going to school. I’m weird.. I know. But I feel like since I’m paying the money, there is no reason for me to not to go to class, so I always feel kind of bad when I have to miss class.
Ok, class has started so…
Later days!
